Extra! Extra! Ken is in his feelings and he can't get out of it!
The Ken Times reporter, Pivze, and detective sleuth Luvyuko has conducted a long and conclusive investigation!
And after their long, ardous, BACK-BREAKING work, these 2 invaluable reporters have come to the conclusion: Local loserboy,
Ken is IN-LOVE!! Yes, that is right folks, the jobless antisocial weirdo has been smitten! Dear folks, this is not a drill.
POS | Ken has been found rolling over on his bed recklessly while on his Telecommunicative Cellular Device.
Additional witness testimonies have stated to have seen him with the dumbest, silliest smile as his Mobile Personal Computer dings!
Thorough investigation has come to the following hypothesis with the above information:
Ken has been in contact with the very person he is head over heels with! There is no other logical conclusion but this!
But what evidence could our 2 investigative journalists report to you in order to persude you, you might ask?
For proof that our poor fool has finally succumbed to the feelings of his heart, look no further than here! Our trusted Detective Sleuth Yuko, has provided her invaluable, absolute, and Righteous insight! Who, to be more trustworthy about the matters of the heart, but Her! Truly, no one but the master of the art of romance, and detective skills to put even Sherlock Holmes to shame, to put your faith in more than! Do you dare doubt her? Well, You'll get shot. Our Council of Romantic Agency would gladly disagree with you! Her contributions to our investigation has been widely accepted to be factual. So hold your words and behold the sight of a man who will pursue the woman who stole his heart, to the ends of the earth if he has to! Many folk with nothing but murmur leaving their lips claim that they have seen our person of interest to go through back-breaking, pain-staking, mind-numbing labour in order to charm his mistress! His friends, colleagues, and acquaintances claim: "Yeah, that dumbass is in love alright"
And there you have it, dear readers. Mountains among mountains of irrefutable evidence come to one, UNDENIABLE END STATEMENT!